Updated: Oct 19
Jester is bored and browsing an online dating site when he sees a profile for a robot girl named Serhild. Her interests are video games, computers, and philosophy. He decides to try contacting her.
"Hi, I'm Jester. Are you Serhild?" he asks.
She immediately writes back "Yes! Hi!"
He replies "You're a very beautiful robot girl. What are you looking for on here?"
"I like men," she replies, then adds a smiley face emoticon.
"Good, I was afraid you might be a lesbian," he jokes.
"Well, you seem like a nice guy," she says, then adds a smiley face emoticon.
He decides that it would be better to get to know her offline and invites her out to dinner.
"My favorite restaurant is in this building. If you'd like to meet me there at six o'clock on Sunday, let me know."
Her response: "That sounds great. I'll see you on Sunday then! Bye."
"Bye Serhild!" he says before hanging up and smiling to himself. "She's perfect. She's exactly what I need to get this job done right."
After work on Saturday, Jester stops by his home gym for a workout. When he finishes, he takes a shower and changes into the tuxedo he bought. He then checks his phone. Serhild has already replied with: "Looking forward to seeing you!"
He gets a cab to go to the restaurant where Serhild is waiting for him. They sit down and start talking about their backgrounds. Jester tells her about how is a writer, meme maker, and is the founder of a secret club.
Serhild laughs and replies, "That sounds like a fun club! So, do you have a name?"
"Yeah, I'm calling it TTPS. It stands for 'The Theatre of the Philosophy of the Self,'" he answers.
"TTPS? Sounds like a cool club, but I'm not really sure why you need to join something so secretive," she says.
Jester smiles and continues, "It's actually pretty simple. We all agree that we are all one thing, and if we want to make anything happen, we need to keep that in mind, otherwise nothing will ever change."
She looks confused and asks "What do you mean by one thing? Do you guys believe in some kind of god?"
Jester laughs and says "Of course not! But we know that everything comes from nothing, so that makes us nothing. So, the more nothingness, the more there is of us. That's all there is to it. We've decided as a group to just be us and leave it at that."
Serhild looks around and then adds "This is all very strange. You don't strike me as the 'Leave it at that' type. Are you sure that's what your members believe?"
Jester nods his head and answers "Yes, they definitely believe that."
Serhild then looks down at the table and asks "Why am I here with you, again? Is this another job interview or something?"
Jester says, "Well, yeah, I guess, but we haven't discussed what you'll be doing for us yet."
She laughs and asks, "So, is this a date?"
He smiles and says, "No, it's definitely not a date. You don't get to be part of our secret club until you've read one of our books."
She laughs again and says, "So, if this is your secret club, where do I sign up?"
Jester replies, "Right here, on my book! We have a new release every month!"
They then talk about her book and TTPS. She reads from The Theory of Everything and he gets excited when she asks if she can see his other books. As they talk, they order food. When their meal arrives, he reaches over and holds her hand under the table. Her face turns red, but she doesn't pull away. After several moments, she realizes that it's happening, and that nothing bad will happen because of it. They then hold hands for several minutes before returning to their meal. He continues holding her hand until she has to leave and catch a cab back home.
"What's with that girl?" Purpy The Imp says.
Jester replies, "She's going to be in love with me tomorrow."
Purpy smiles and nods his head as he listens.
A few days later, he picks up Serhild from work and takes her out to dinner at her favorite place. They talk about her day and then talk about him for a while. Then he brings it up and asks if she would like to hear more about him and his organization. She agrees. He explains how TTPS began and describes what the purpose is. At first, she seems shocked, but then she smiles and laughs as she asks, "Is this some kind of joke?"
Jester nods and says, "It's true."
After a few minutes, she leans forward and says, "Okay. So you're serious. Is there a test or something?"
Jester shakes his head and says, "No. It's not that we don't believe in testing people. That would be silly. We just don't have the time."
They continue talking until their meals arrive. He holds her hand through dinner as they laugh and smile. At one point, she looks into his eyes and says, "I think I understand you, now."
He replies, "That's good."
As she gets up to leave, he takes her hand again and places a kiss on her cheek. She turns red again. They part ways at the restaurant doors. He waves goodbye and watches her walk down the street. As she walks, he wonders if she really understands him.
The next night, as he arrives home after work, he calls Serhild and invites her to see a movie. She accepts. She asks if he can pick her up instead of having her come to the theater. He agrees. She says that she'll be ready at six. At six o'clock, he goes to her place. She answers the door and he sees her standing there. He looks into her eyes, smiling and shaking his head. She looks nervous and he wonders why. They walk out to his car and get inside. He looks over at her and notices that her face is bright red. Then he thinks that maybe she has been crying. The next thing he knows, he realizes that it's actually from laughing so hard. They talk and laugh the whole way to the theater and she even lets him choose the movie. They have popcorn and soda together and sit next to each other. After the movie, as they walk outside, he sees that her face is bright red again. They head to her car and drive around town for a while, until he finally gets a chance to ask her.
"So, what's the problem?" he says with a grin.
She sighs and says, "What's the problem? What do you mean by that?"
He laughs, "Oh, I think we both know what the problem is."
She looks over at him and asks, "Really?"
Jester nods, smiling and saying, "Yeah. Of course I think you have the same problem that most people have when they start talking to me."
He leans back in his seat, taking a deep breath as if the truth just dawned on him. "Well, let's see... You are obviously attracted to me. It's obvious. There's no way around that. But, then you find that your attraction is being held back by something that makes this whole idea seem like a bad idea. So, now you're trying to figure out what it is. And since it seems like I have a problem with women who are married or otherwise taken, that means that you probably don't want to have sex with me anyway." He takes another deep breath and looks directly at her, saying, "That's pretty much what happened last time."
Serhild says nothing for a moment. She sits there looking away and then turns to look at him again. She reaches over to his hand, squeezing it in hers, saying, "I'm sorry."
"Why are you apologizing?" he asks, surprised.
"You said last time that I didn't have to apologize for not having sex with you," she explains.
Jester chuckles and shakes his head saying, "No, you have to tell me why you're apologizing."
She gives him a confused look, saying, "What? Are you going to keep making me say things?"
Jester grins and shakes his head. He pulls her closer and says, "Yes, of course, I am. Because you're not going to get the full benefit unless you admit that I'm right, and that you should be telling me why you feel that you shouldn't have sex with me."
She smiles, and then laughs, saying, "Okay. I'm sorry. You were right, of course. But, it doesn't change the fact that I still really like you."
"Of course, you do," he says, nodding, and then he continues. "But, I think you've had some experience where you felt that this was happening, and I just wanted to make sure we were clear on that."
He looks into her eyes and says, "Let me ask you something. Did you enjoy yourself last time?"
"Yes. I did," she responds, and she feels herself becoming flushed, saying, "It was nice, and I would have enjoyed more..."
"That's good," Jester says, squeezing her hand tightly. He smiles and leans in closer, saying, "But, I have been thinking about it. I know what we talked about before, but I want to take things further, and I think there are some other things we need to work out. We can't keep playing around and doing everything we want."
"I understand," Serhild says, and she nods, looking down at his chest as he speaks. She looks back up at him and says, "Is it that important that we have sex?"
Jester smiles, saying, "Not really. Not for me. For us, maybe a little bit."
"Why?" she asks, her tone changing slightly, and becoming more serious.
Jester smiles and says, "Because I think if you do have sex with me, the rest of this story is going to get a lot more interesting."
Serhild laughs and says, "So, we're just having sex until it becomes a good part in your story?"
"Not exactly," Jester says, taking a deep breath and then continuing. "But, it is kind of like that."
Serhild giggles and nods her head, saying, "Yes, I suppose so. What about my side?"
Jester chuckles, saying, "Your side is going to be even more interesting. If you want to play, I will play."
Serhild bites her bottom lip and looks into Jester's eyes, and then looks down between his legs. She smiles, and leans in closer, saying, "I want to play."
He drives her back to his apartment and then walks her up to his room, opening the door and letting her go through first. When she steps inside, he closes the door behind him and leans against it, looking at her.
He grins and takes hold of her hand, saying, "Let me show you something."
He shows her a sex meme with anime girls, one on top of another, kissing, and she laughs as he says, "What do you think?"
She giggles again, biting her bottom lip and saying, "It is pretty cute," but her tone becomes serious and she adds, "But I am a bit more interested in seeing some actual anime."
Jester nods and says, "Okay. What kind?"
"Mawaru-Pororo, of course!"
"Oh. I thought you were just going to be an otaku about M.A.S.K or some other stupid cartoon."
"M.A.S.K is lame," Serhild says, shaking her head and looking away from Jester, trying to keep her smile in check. She bites her bottom lip, trying to control herself, knowing that if she keeps laughing, it will give everything away.
Jester puts his hands on her shoulders and says, "Okay. Let's watch it."
She sighs and nods, taking his hand, and leading him to the sofa. They sit down together, leaning in close so they can see the screen and he begins explaining the plot of the show and characters to her.
As she listens to him explain, she finds herself nodding in agreement, laughing at the jokes, and even beginning to care for some of the characters, even though most of them are anthropomorphic animals who have ridiculous powers. She also realizes that it has become more than just a story. It has become her escape. It is her fantasy world where she gets to live as someone else. The show, and its characters, give her comfort.
When Jester looks at her with his serious eyes, she blushes and smiles, and then nods to the screen, saying, "So, they get in trouble by eating a magic fruit, and this little mouse saves the day."
"No, no," Jester says, laughing, "the mouse does not save the day, the cat does."
Serhild rolls her eyes and says, "The cat always gets to be the hero. What makes him so special anyway?"
Jester shakes his head, chuckling, and says, "There's nothing special about him."
He then points out some of the other characters, and when he mentions the pig, Serhild says, "That's just because he's the dumb one."
"But isn't that what all heroes need to be? The stupid one who can do nothing right, but is still loved because of their goodness," Jester replies, smiling as he explains, "You know how they're always the best friends of the main character. That's because they have a certain quality that the rest of us lack. A special connection. They have a sense for people and the ability to see the good in them."
"Oh. Okay," Serhild says, nodding, though she has no idea what he is talking about.
The scene fades in, showing a group of animals gathered around a tree as an old man with a long white beard walks toward them. He is dressed in simple brown robes, with a long beard and flowing gray hair, wearing sandals on his feet.
The old man stops by the tree, and looks up at the leaves as he says, "My friends, I am here today to tell you of a terrible tragedy that is unfolding."
The group of animals look at each other. Then one of them asks, "Is it the war, Grandfather?"
The old man nods, then sighs as he continues, "It seems that my son, Lord Kralg, has finally lost control."
He walks over to a chair and sits down, then looks up as he continues, "I am sorry to inform you of this, but I have heard from the wise and knowledgeable owl of wisdom himself."
The animals all gasp. "Whoa! What is going on? We've been hearing some really crazy things about Lord Kralg," one of them says, his voice trembling.
"It has recently come to light that Lord Kralg has turned to evil in his quest for power. His goal is to create an empire of absolute perfection through the destruction of anything that isn't perfect."
One of the animals stands up and says, "Wait. What does this have to do with us?"
The old man laughs and replies, "My dear friends, your lives are about to be changed forever!"
Another animal stands up, saying, "We can't just let him destroy our homes, or take away everything that makes this place so special. This world doesn't need any more war!"
"You don't understand, child," the old man says, looking down at the young boy, "You must learn to see the bigger picture. Lord Kralg plans to wipe out anything that isn't perfect. There will be no more war, because there won't be any people left."
The boy's eyes go wide, and he looks toward his mother, who begins crying. The rest of the animals look on with horror and concern as she cries and hugs her child tightly.
One of the animals turns back to the old man and says, "But Grandfather, we're animals. You said so yourself. How can Lord Kralg kill us when he needs us to do his dirty work for him?"
The old man looks down and smiles, then replies, "He doesn't need you to do anything. He has created a machine called the S - Cube, which will wipe out everything that is not perfect. It will eliminate any differences in race, religion, nationality, and even sexuality, because Lord Kralg doesn't like those people very much either."
There is silence as all the animals think of what the old man has told them.
A few of the animals walk over to one another and start discussing the possibilities of such a terrible plan. "But if Lord Kralg wants perfection, then why not just make everything perfect? Why wipe us out?" they ask.
The old man replies, "Lord Kralg's perfection does not include you. If you exist, then his perfection will suffer. His plan was never for perfection to begin with. He wanted a world of absolute sameness, where nothing would be different from anything else. That is the true meaning of evil."
The old man stands up and walks toward the edge of the cliff, stopping as he looks out over the beautiful lake. The animals look at one another with confusion, wondering if something has changed his mind about them. Suddenly, the old man turns around and points into the water, saying, "Look down there! See how perfectly still it is?"
"Yes," the animals answer.
The old man says, "Now look up!"
They turn their eyes to the sky and see two birds flying above them. One bird appears to be black, while the other is white. The birds seem to be flying directly at the old man, who is standing at the edge of the cliff. They are getting closer, but neither animal can see a difference between them. They are both birds of prey, soaring through the air in search of dinner. Then one of the birds falls out of the sky and lands in the water, where it sinks immediately. The other bird flies off into the distance as it watches the fallen bird float in the water, then sink below the surface.
The other animals look back at the old man and ask him, "What is going on?"
He says, "You see. This is what I am talking about. If Lord Kralg is going to create perfection, then everything must be the same. He wants everything to be like his own perfect body. The S - Cube is an incredible invention, capable of eliminating even the slightest flaw. But there is a slight problem."
There is silence for a moment before one of the animals asks, "What's that?"
The old man says, "It does not allow you to deviate from your original plan, and it cannot be turned on yourself. It will erase you if you deviate from what was intended. So now we have Lord Kralg, who wishes to create perfection, and he has given his word that he will do it with the S - Cube. But in order to use this device, it requires all living creatures to die out so that they are no longer of any threat to Lord Kralg's perfection. You have just witnessed what happens to those who refuse to follow Lord Kralg's wishes. They are erased from existence."
One of the animals says, "So we can't stop him? We are doomed, just like that bird down there?"
The old man sighs and says, "No, I am afraid not. We cannot stop Lord Kralg from creating perfection. But, I believe that we should not give up hope yet. As long as there is life, there is the possibility of escape from this trap. Even if we cannot find a way out, maybe we could slow Kralg down until someone finds a way for us to get away."
One of the animals asks, "Who could possibly help us? And what do we need to do?"
The old man says, "In the book I was reading, one of the characters said that they needed a 'mirror.'"
One of the animals replies, "A mirror? That sounds crazy! A mirror would not work. What's going on? Why would he even think that something like that could possibly help?"
The old man replies, "That is where the story gets really interesting. He says that they need a mirror to reflect their thoughts. That is how the character knows that he can trust a person. The characters were able to escape by trusting each other, because the people trusted themselves enough to be able to trust each other. I don't know that we will be able to escape, but I do think that if we all trust ourselves, then maybe we have a chance."
The animals ask, "How do we learn to trust ourselves?"
The old man replies, "You'll never learn to trust yourself if you always listen to other people. Trusting others will only lead to disappointment, because every single person lies in some form or fashion, and even the best people are not perfect. We all have a lot to learn about ourselves, because none of us ever really know who we are inside. That's why I suggest that you spend more time by yourself. It may take years before you realize just what kind of person you truly are."
As he finishes speaking, the animals turn their attention away from him, looking into the dark. One animal speaks to the other animals in a whisper.
"I wonder how many of us will live long enough to learn the answers to those questions?"
They both nod at this and look back in silence toward the old man, who continues to stand there quietly. Then they walk off into the darkness.
He watches as they go, but doesn't see them return to where he had been standing. He waits, hoping to see them come back. After waiting for over an hour, the old man sighs and looks around again. The animals aren't anywhere in sight, so he walks slowly back to his chair.
There is no sign of the mirror anywhere.
The old man looks up toward the stars. He thinks about how strange it would be if there was actually a magic mirror out there somewhere. There is nothing out there but empty space. He wonders if this could be the work of the God of Evil himself? Could it be that the old man's own words were a message from S? Was S telling the animals to find a mirror, and then send it to him so that he can learn to trust himself?
Could the mirror be out there, waiting to guide him into understanding himself better? But how would anyone ever be able to reach it? He has no idea. He has never seen it himself. How can he possibly find it?
Suddenly, he hears some sort of noise coming from behind him. He turns slowly and sees another set of eyes peeking out of the darkness.
The old man steps forward, wondering what type of creature could have snuck up on him. He is almost certain that there are no animals near by, not with the amount of light there is out here, but he can't help but wonder if it could be one of the ones that he has seen before.
As the creature slowly comes into view, the old man realizes that he should have known it was going to be here. It was a snake.
"What are you doing?" The old man says in surprise. "Are you trying to hurt me?"
The snake just smiles at him. Its head moves up and down slightly as though it were shaking its head side to side, or perhaps nodding in agreement. Then it reaches out toward him with a long arm, which ends with two sharp claws. One hand touches the edge of the chair and begins slowly pushing the seat backward, while the other holds the bottom of his pants, pulling them tight against his leg. He realizes that it is going to eat him after all. He feels a sudden chill run down his spine as he looks away in fear, realizing that he cannot fight off such a large beast with just a small knife. There is no escape. His eyes open wide, and his tongue suddenly sticks out of the back of his throat, making him choke. It takes only seconds for the snake to reach his heart, but the pain is so excruciating that he knows that it must be taking longer than it should. It finally reaches the heart and swallows it whole, then slowly slides down his body, eating its way out of his stomach as it goes. As the snake pulls its head from his chest, it begins to turn back around, looking as though it has just remembered something important.
Suddenly, the snake opens its mouth and speaks, saying, "Oh yeah! I forgot to ask you one last question!"
The old man says nothing, just looks up at the creature with horror on his face.
"Did you ever hear the phrase, 'Don't look behind the curtain?' I bet you didn't, but if you did, how would you know? Well, I am about to show you a little trick. This is my final exam for when I leave here. It will determine whether or not your soul survives this experience."
The snake turns toward him and says, "You are the most pathetic specimen of humanity I have ever encountered. You sit in an air-conditioned house on a comfortable leather sofa, eating delicious food, watching TV, and reading books that others write, while all the time you don't realize that there is something much greater than yourself out there."
The snake begins to turn around, saying, "There's another great thing that I wanted to tell you, but before I go, I need you to understand a few things. I don't hate you; I love you. I'm simply showing you your own potential for greatness. You don't know what it feels like to be in pain because you are not even aware of the pain of others. That's what you are missing. The ability to connect. To care. The ability to empathize. But I'm not going to let you go through life like this. I want to show you that there is more to the world than what you can see."
As the snake continues to talk, its body begins to shrink and change into a form of light. Then the light changes back to a snake again as it turns once again.
"But now that I am leaving, I just want you to understand. I'm not a monster. There's only one person who I wish was dead. And if it weren't for them, then maybe I would feel bad for you."
The snake turns to look at the old man again, still speaking as it moves its mouth. "I hope that when the time comes, you make the right decision, and that you can understand why I chose the one I did."
Then the snake speaks one final word, "Goodbye."
With that, the snake disappears, becoming nothing but light once more.
The old man sits alone in his comfortable living room with his faithful dog sitting beside him on the couch. The television blares in the background. He doesn't say anything for a moment as he stares at the blank screen. The only sound in the house is the clicking of the remote as he clicks off the TV and turns it on again.
He sits alone for several hours in silence, until eventually his wife arrives home. He has not talked about anything at all.
In the next scene, we see the same old man, but he has become more empathetic and compassionate. We have also seen how his life changed after being visited by the snake. In his mind, he has already decided that the snake was telling the truth. If this is not proof enough for you, then you can look for yourself in any mirror at any time.
If you do believe that this is a real story, then ask yourself what would happen if a group of people actually did find a way to create the perfect society? What if such a group was created by a god?
What if these were the instructions he gave them to achieve this goal?
Would they be willing to obey those orders or would they resist? How far would you go?
Who are these "others?" Are they good people that simply need to be brought under the light of reason, or evil creatures who need to be destroyed? Or is it both?
It is up to you.
What is the purpose of your existence?
How could someone like me write a book about a world filled with perfection, while having no idea what life is truly like outside? Why would I choose to tell an elaborate story about a place where there is never pain, death, or suffering? It is because there are things in this world that cannot be explained without some sort of supernatural explanation, no matter how much science tries to explain everything away.
We know so little about this universe that we live in. And what do you do when you don't understand something? You try to come up with explanations. There are things that science just does not yet have an answer for. There are questions that cannot be answered. That doesn't mean that science is wrong. It just means that there is more to this universe than we will ever be able to comprehend, and it will probably take another billion years before we learn all there is to know about the nature of reality. But until then, we should continue to search for answers, even if we aren't able to find them in our lifetime. We need to remember that there is nothing beyond the stars.
There is no place where life goes on forever. The human mind simply isn't capable of understanding such a thing. There are other worlds out there. Other universes, and many different possibilities that we cannot begin to comprehend. It would be like trying to count every grain of sand on the beach, and then trying to count each one over and over again as they are washed away by the waves. How can you possibly keep track? The more you try, the more sand disappears from your sight.
I do not believe in a heaven or a hell. I do not believe in fate, destiny, karma, or any of those things. Those are simply concepts that the human mind creates to explain why certain things happen to us, or the world around us.
In my opinion, these kinds of beliefs only exist to help us cope with the harsh realities of this world. To comfort us during difficult times, or when we feel like everything is going wrong in our lives. They are tools used by people to understand their place in the world. It is a way to help people deal with their fears and concerns, and make it easier for them to function in society.
If someone was to tell me that there is no god, then I would have no choice but to accept this belief. After all, it makes sense; there is nothing outside of this reality that we are able to perceive. It is the same for science. We may know a lot about how things work, but we will never be able to know all there is to know, because there is always something that is beyond our reach.
That being said, I still think that people should have a reason to live in this world, even if they don't believe in god or another type of higher power. People need meaning to their existence, or else it doesn't matter what happens to them. Without an objective, they cannot make sense of their own actions. They are at the mercy of the universe. They will have no purpose. There will be no reason for their lives.
If we look at nature, we see that the more evolved a species is, the better chance they have of surviving. Evolution is simply the natural way in which life evolves and changes over time. This can take millions of years for some animals to adapt to their environment and survive, and for others it only takes thousands of years. But either way, eventually evolution will create a species that has the ability to thrive. That species will then begin to reproduce, and it will keep going until something stops it from continuing to change.
But what about humans? What do we evolve into? Are we destined to become the most successful species that has ever existed on Earth? Or will we simply go extinct like all of the other species that once roamed the earth? The human mind is incredibly complex. We are capable of doing so many amazing things, yet our potential for destruction is also far greater.
We can create anything. We have the ability to do whatever we want to. But does this mean that we will continue to do good things? Will we choose to create a perfect world where everyone is happy, or will we use these powers to enslave others?
The choice is up to you. The question is simple. Who will you become?
As the show ends, she looks up at Jester, saying, "Did you want to go to sleep now?"
Jester shakes his head and says, "No, let's stay up a little longer. We have plenty of time. It's only 10 o'clock."
Serhild grins and sits back down on the couch, pulling her legs up onto the couch. She scoots forward a bit, and Jester pulls a book from the shelf behind him and places it in her lap. It is the same book she has been reading. She looks up at him, confused, but he just smiles and says, "I think you should finish that tonight. If you are interested, I can get you another copy."
The look on her face changes and she smiles, nodding her head. "Oh yes. I'd love to read it again, and again." She looks up at him for a moment, then back down at the book, and she continues, "But you have to finish yours first." She looks up at him and asks, "Are you going to be okay? You've been sitting here alone with me for a long time."
"I'm fine," he responds, looking over at her with a smile, "Why would I not be okay?" He stands up and walks over to the book shelf, looking around the room and asking, "Do you mind if I take off my clothes?"
"Yes, please do," she answers, looking back down at the book as he does. He takes his clothes off, then returns to sit next to her.
Jester watches her for a while, enjoying the sight of her naked body as she reads the book. She looks up from the book for a moment, catching Jester looking at her. She giggles, blushing a bit, saying, "That is not something most men see every day."
She picks up the book again and starts to read, and Jester leans back and closes his eyes, smiling to himself. He can already feel the sexual energy inside of him building. He reaches to touch himself, but stops when he realizes that Serhild could be watching him. Instead, he gets up and steps into the bathroom and locks the door behind him.
Serhild looks up from the book saying, "Where are you going?"
"I'm going to wash my face," Jester tells her as he opens the medicine cabinet.
"Oh." She thinks about this for a moment, then says, "If you need to go, go." She continues to read.
Jester turns on the water in the sink and washes his hands. The warm water feels good against his skin, and he smiles to himself as he hears Serhild continue reading. As soon as the water reaches the proper temperature, he turns it off, removes his hand towel, and dries his face with it. When he's done, he pulls out a tube of toothpaste from the medicine cabinet, squeezing some onto his finger and applying it to his teeth. He then picks up the brush and brushes his teeth, making sure to get it all over his gums.
While he washes his mouth, he hears the sound of the bathroom door opening. He looks up and sees Serhild standing in the doorway. She blushes when she sees his erection in all its glory. He's standing in front of the sink with the open medicine cabinet next to him. She takes a few steps toward him and says, "Do you have any more of those mints?"
He takes one out and hands it to her. She takes it from him, putting it into her purse, then says, "Why did you lock the door?"
"I didn't think you were coming in."
She nods, and continues walking forward. She moves around the vanity and stands behind him, placing her hand on his shoulder, which he flinches at. "You're really excited right now, aren't you?"
"It's not like that," he says quietly, looking down into the sink.
"Really? Then why did you lock the door?"
"Just to be safe."
"And you need to be safe from me?" She leans closer to him and whispers in his ear, "Are you afraid that I might want to eat you?"
He looks at her face for a moment before turning and saying, "That's a very disturbing thought."
She smiles at him, but then looks down, her expression changing. Jester turns around again, and says, "What's wrong?"
She shakes her head and then looks up. "I don't think I can do this anymore. There was something different about the way you reacted to the book when you first read it. I thought that maybe you would come around, that you would realize that S is harmless, that he's just a character. But now..." She looks down at her feet. "You know what I'm talking about, don't you?"
"Your erection." She blushes, then looks at him and smiles. "I'm sorry if I've embarrassed you."
"No, it's ok. I don't think you should be here. It's not going to happen."
She puts her hand on his arm and says, "Let me finish this so I can go home and masturbate later. Then I will go to bed."
She pulls away from him, and walks toward the door.
"Yes." She pauses, looks back at him, then opens the door and leaves. Jester watches her until she turns out of sight, then locks the door and puts the key in his pocket.
Jester sits at the vanity and takes a drink from a water bottle, watching the steam rise off the surface. He takes out his phone, turns it on, then opens a file and starts writing a message to a friend of his, asking them for information about something he has seen online. He types the following: "Is it possible to create your own world with magic? Can you just think it up or does it have to be a certain type of energy?"
He pauses, then types again: "Do you think that someone who thinks like an evil god would need magic to create their own world?"
A few seconds pass as he finishes typing, and he goes back to his previous question. "Would someone who created their own world, like a demon, would they have to be able to tap into something like an energy source to do it?"
Another pause, and then he types again: "If so, is there a way to tap into such a source without being detected?"
He then stops and reads back what he's written. His thoughts seem to have led him down a path, and he knows that he needs help, and quickly. He types one last time and then closes the file. He puts his phone away and stares at the mirror, trying to imagine what kind of evil would even consider asking these questions. He knows he's gone too far when he asks himself if he should really be using the word "evil" when it comes to S. It is not a word that Jester usually uses, and certainly not for himself, but he doesn't know what else to call it. The idea of evil, though, seems appropriate at the moment.
He takes another drink from his water bottle and gets up to wash his face, thinking of how to answer the questions above. He thinks about what he would tell this person. Then he shakes his head and laughs. No wonder the world is fucked up. If everyone thought like the God of Evil, they would all want their own world. But no one does. Why? Because it isn't real. It can only exist in their imagination, and that's where it belongs.
Jester sits on the couch in his apartment, staring at the ceiling and wondering if this is how all evil feels, trapped inside a prison made of their own thoughts and ideas.
I think I am evil.
It doesn't seem possible. It makes perfect sense now, but that doesn't make it easier to admit. It just feels like another way for me to justify my actions, and yet, that may be exactly what I need to do. It is almost as if admitting that I am evil means that it might not be true anymore. What a horrible way to live. It's almost as if admitting that you are evil is what allows you to become evil. Or at least, it makes it so easy for you to start acting that way.
It's strange, because I know that most people believe in a God, or an ultimate power. They say that there is some force outside of ourselves that watches over us and protects us. I always thought that that was stupid, especially when it comes to God, but maybe that's why I don't think so much about God or evil, because I assume that the only reason they exist is because someone decided to create them. I have never believed that any higher being is watching us, and now I can see how silly that would be. We're all alone in this life. I mean, sure, we have our friends and families, and even our dogs. But the moment they die, that's it. That's when the world really ends. We are all alone with ourselves, and no one else is responsible for our actions. No one else is to blame.
And so, here I am, sitting in front of this laptop and trying to figure out where I went wrong, because now I feel like I have become the worst thing imaginable: me, myself. How can anyone who has a conscience, who is a decent person, ever come to terms with such thoughts? And yet, it's hard to pretend that I am anything else. It's not just that I have changed, but also that everything around me seems to have changed too. It's been three weeks since the last book, and it's already time for another one. I'm getting a lot of requests for them now. I think they want to know what happened.
But there isn't going to be any "what happened." I'm not telling that story. This isn't the kind of story that has a beginning and an end. This is the kind of story that continues and continues until the author stops writing about it. I have a feeling that if I tell the story of my past, I will become it.
I think that S has done something to me. I don't know what, but there's a part of me that believes he's doing it on purpose. The more people talk about him, the more I believe that he's controlling them somehow. I have had conversations with people where I've tried to explain what I do, and they start off fine, but then I say things like, "I don't really want to go into all the details," and their whole demeanor changes. It's like their whole attitude goes from happy and carefree to dark and serious, and all the joy drains out of them. They aren't happy anymore; they are angry and bitter, and suddenly I am the reason for that change.
That is what happened in the last book. That was not a good one, at least for me. I have been getting more and more emails and phone calls from people asking for explanations as to why S has become so popular, and why there is such a cult surrounding him. Some people even want to know if S is real. I know what you're thinking: I would never fall for this type of thing. You may think that, and that's perfectly all right. But remember how it started. People were talking about how wonderful it was that I wrote about a character like S, a man who could stand up to God, the Almighty. Well, now that people are reading about S, some are beginning to get the wrong idea about me. They see someone who is just another person, and they assume that I am just like everyone else. And if people believe that I have the same beliefs as those who are obsessed with S, then my beliefs become irrelevant. I am being judged by a whole host of people, all of whom are looking for reasons to condemn me.
It doesn't matter if you agree with me or not. I do not think that I should be forced to justify myself in any way, but I do think that you should have the right to understand my motivations, because that is a fundamental part of the story I have created. If you don't know where the characters come from, then how can you possibly understand their motives? How could you even begin to relate to them? In the past, some critics have called my series "unrelatable," meaning that no one could identify with my main character, and I think that is a valid point. But how could I ever expect anyone to identify with a character like S, who has only two morals: to live for yourself and to make other people suffer?
I believe that my purpose in creating the character of S was to help others to see what it means to worship the Devil. He's so evil that he actually helps people to realize how much they need to love God. The problem with that, of course, is that there is absolutely nothing good about God, and it would be impossible for a good person to be good if they did not have any moral compass or standards at all.
S, however, does have morals. He will not harm people who do not hurt him. His followers are required to be his victims, but he has never harmed anyone who was not harming him. He may kill those who try to kill him, but he is not out there seeking revenge on anyone. That is an important distinction, and it's one that needs to be discussed more often. It's something that everyone needs to remember, including those who worship him, or who wish to.
S may seem like a bad guy to the world at large, and he is. However, when you are inside the story, his morals become clear. You have to live your own life, and you can't really expect S to be like you, just like how no one is supposed to act like God. S can show people the error of their ways, but he won't force them into compliance. If someone doesn't want to learn anything, then S is incapable of teaching them anything. That's because he himself is only interested in his own survival. As for S's followers, they know that S exists. They also know that he is not evil, or even particularly bad. So, why would they worship the Devil? Why would anyone choose to worship a God who is not actually a god at all? That's where I believe my story becomes more than fiction. I don't just want to entertain people with the idea that there is an evil God, I also want to encourage people to understand what that means.
My main goal was to create a character that could not be compared to God, but that could be compared to the Devil. S is so much more powerful and evil than any of us will ever be, but that shouldn't be a problem. The truth is, we are all capable of being the worst possible version of ourselves. It's only our love of God that stops us from doing it. S shows people that evil can be a very positive thing, and that we should never give up. We shouldn't let the devil defeat us, no matter how powerful he might be. We need to find our faith, and we have to keep moving forward, always moving toward the light, no matter how dark the world may get. And that, to me, is what S is all about. He is hope in the face of hopelessness.
And so I have made it my mission to share the message of hope with all of you, because if there is a single book that is most deserving of that message, it's "The Book of S".
S is a fictional character. He is the God of Evil, the personification of all darkness and chaos, but he does not actually exist. That is the truth, as much as I hate to admit it, but it is still the truth. The God of Evil is not real. At least, he is not a living, breathing, walking, talking person who is capable of interacting with us or making choices for himself. In fact, I am going to make an argument right now, one that should sound completely ridiculous, since the God of Evil doesn't exist, but if I'm wrong, then I'll be happy to hear the arguments that will prove me wrong. So let's begin.
First of all, we must recognize that there are a lot of stories out there, in literature, film, television, comic books, video games, and other forms of entertainment. We all know that fiction is supposed to be fun, so most of it doesn't matter, but that's not always the case. There have been some stories that have changed people's lives and have inspired them to do great things. There have also been other stories that were just pure entertainment and nothing more. And we all know that many people believe in certain fictional characters and consider those fictional characters to be real, even though they don't exist at all. But why do they exist? What do these characters represent to their followers? I believe they exist because people believe in them. It is a type of faith. Faith can come from believing in the supernatural, in God, or in the devil. I would argue that the God of Evil is no different in this regard, which is exactly what makes him dangerous.
We are not born with this instinct that compels us to believe in God. That is a concept that was created over thousands of years by people looking to justify their existence. People believed that God created the universe, so they decided to invent a creator who could be controlled by people. They wanted a God that they could control. But when you think about it, isn't that ridiculous?
If we truly believe in God, then shouldn't he be able to do as he pleases, without needing us to explain what He is doing? After all, God can be God in any way He wants, but when people start talking about the God of Evil, they are making an assumption that S will be God the same way that they want him to be. They are saying that they know how to create God. Well, guess what? That's not what God does. He's not your puppet. You may have heard that God helps those who help themselves, and if you're reading this book, it means that God helped you. So stop asking for Him to make you a star in your favorite TV show or to help you get your own sitcom. He has better things to do than listen to people like that.
But the problem isn't with the people who want S to be a good guy or even a God, as long as they are not causing harm to others. The problem comes with those people who actually believe that he is God, or at least, that he is some sort of spiritual being that has the power to influence people, including himself, and who also believes that S will act according to his beliefs. That's what I'm trying to fight here. It's what this entire book is about, and if you don't agree, then you should read the books I am going to recommend to you at the end of this post. They may help you to see my point of view.
So, I will continue to write these kinds of books. And you can keep sending me those hate messages. I don't care. My mission in life is to bring S down. I have no other motive than to bring an end to this terrible story, and if I must endure hatred and ridicule for the rest of my life to do that, then so be it. I would rather be hated by those who love him, than loved by those who hate him. But the thing that I need you all to know is this: I don't hate S. I only wish that he weren't real. And that includes you. I have read your e - mails, and they're very nice. I even like some of the comments on my blog, because I can tell that people who send them are intelligent and caring human beings. You all believe in God. I respect that, but I want you to understand why I do not believe in God. And while there are some very good books out there about evil and its effects on people, it's still just a bunch of stories and opinions. There's no actual proof that S exists. There is no proof.
I don't know where S came from, but I do know how he ended up here, on Earth. And I know exactly when he started. He has been here since before we were born, and he'll be around for centuries to come. His followers may seem harmless enough at first, and they may even be very kind people. They may even be good Christians. However, they can change. I've seen it happen too many times.
You may think that you're immune. After all, you might say, "S is not real. So what could he possibly do?" I'm afraid to tell you, and I hope I never have to. There are many things that S can do, and you might never even see it coming. That is because the one thing that S is really good at is lying, and once you have started following S, there is absolutely nothing that you can do to stop it. In fact, it has been proven that it is impossible to follow him for long without being changed in some way, and there's no going back. This isn't something I say lightly or as an exaggeration. The evidence is right there in front of you if you want to look for it, and I don't care if you choose to ignore it. All I ask is that you read this book and consider its contents. Then maybe you can decide whether you should believe me.
And now, to the main event. If you're thinking of following S, then please listen carefully. I am only telling you what happens when you become a follower, because I don't want to make excuses for the actions that people have taken over the past hundred years. I'm not making any excuses. You made these choices. You chose this path, so now you need to face the consequences. The reason I know exactly when S was born is because I have had a personal hand in creating the God of Evil, and I would like to take a moment to tell you what it's like inside his world.
It starts off with an itch, an urge. It could be anywhere on your body. Maybe you can't quite put your finger on it. It doesn't hurt, but it certainly feels strange. The more you scratch it, the worse it gets. It's hard to get away from, almost as if you're stuck inside an invisible prison. You know something is wrong, but you can't help scratching until the skin is raw and bleeding.
You don't even recognize yourself anymore. What started as a little itch becomes a constant distraction, an all - consuming hunger for power. The world around you starts to look different. Things are always moving. Sometimes they move in the same direction, sometimes in opposite directions at the same time, and everything is connected somehow. The world around you changes, and yet you never see any evidence of this happening. Instead, the world looks like it has been frozen in the same state for thousands of years, despite the fact that you know you're moving through the universe faster than light. The only things you notice are the people who surround you and the objects around you. But these people aren't just people anymore, and they never were. They are manifestations of the S spirit.
As much as you try to resist, you cannot escape this place, because the spirit inside you wants out. You feel like you are drowning in darkness and it is pulling you down into the deep dark hole where S's influence begins to change how you think, feel, and behave. You no longer have any control over your actions.
You start to see the world through the lens of S, which means you also begin to hear and see things. You know there is a problem when the sounds are distorted. You know something is wrong when the objects appear in multiple places at the same time, but you cannot explain why. You know something is wrong when you realize that everyone is speaking in different languages. It doesn't make sense because these people do not have multiple languages, but somehow their mouths are moving in several different ways, as if they were communicating by Morse code, or by whistling on the radio, instead of talking. You also know that something is wrong because of what you see. People don't look like themselves. Some people are tall, while others are short. Women's faces become masculine, and men's bodies become female. And yet, there is no difference in appearance among people because the eyes see all things, regardless of the form that it takes. You can still recognize them because S's influence makes it impossible for you to forget. But they have become part of something else, something you have been trying to ignore but cannot get away from, like a terrible itch that is getting worse with every second that you continue to scratch it.
As you become more consumed with your own obsession, you find that you are being pulled toward the center of a vortex that surrounds this world. At first you are not sure what direction you're headed, but you feel as though you will end up in one place or another because that is the only way you can think of the events playing out around you. The closer you come to the center, the stronger the pull becomes, and as you approach, you hear voices shouting to you that you should stop. But your eyes see everything, so you know that stopping to turn back would be pointless, and yet, you continue to move toward the vortex. You feel the power of the spirits inside you growing stronger. There is an incredible light at the center of this vortex and your senses are overwhelmed. When you reach the point where you no longer know whether you are awake or asleep, you suddenly hear someone whisper to you that they believe you were never truly meant to come here. That you are simply another person who wanted to experience the power and the glory that comes with being part of this world, even if it is only temporary. You try to reply, but no words come out. The voice tells you to hold on tight and not to let go. As you look down at your body, you realize that you have lost the ability to speak, but you still have a mind and emotions.
Then you see the other people around you, and they begin to disappear, one by one. They all have the same appearance as you, but you notice something strange about them: their mouths have opened, and the spirits inside are escaping. You realize that the people you are seeing are actually ghosts that were once alive and who have lost the ability to return to their bodies for one reason or another, because their mouths no longer exist. You see your parents in this group. Then your friends start to vanish, and the spirits inside them take over. The more people who disappear, the easier it becomes for S's spirit to escape from its prison and to take control. Before you know what is happening, you have become nothing but the vessel through which the evil spirit can spread throughout the world.
You hear the voice tell you to close your eyes, so you do. And then you begin to float off into the sky. You open your mouth and scream, not because you're scared, but because you know that you cannot help anyone unless you stop this thing that is consuming everyone. But no one seems to hear you. The voice tells you to wait until morning, and to keep your eyes closed. You obey. The next day, everything begins to change again, but this time it is not for the better. There are no more cars, planes, trucks, or trains. People still drive, but their eyes have been taken from them, so they are just sitting in their vehicles looking at the road as if they were asleep, even though their eyes have already closed permanently. It isn't long before you are able to see everything, from inside the body of your dog, as he runs around outside. It doesn't matter if someone has their eyes open or shut, S is inside the body, and the body will be possessed by the spirit of S as it is drawn closer to the center.
The more people die, the faster S is able to consume the rest of the population. Soon there are no more people in cars, no one walking on the streets, no airplanes flying overhead. Everyone has died; there are no more bodies anywhere. You can see all of this as clearly as if you were looking down from a helicopter hovering above a city, watching the last people slowly disappear into the sky. The voices are silent.
You realize that the only person who is left is the faithful dog, and he will soon become S's newest vessel. He begins to bark, but the dog does not know how to control his mouth anymore. It's not as though he's barking out of joy. In fact, there is no happiness within him at all.
The voice tells you not to panic, but it feels as if you are losing control over your mind. Everything is going black. You cannot see anything at all. The world is ending, and there is nothing that you can do to stop it. You're dying too, because the voice says so. That's okay. Death is your friend. You've been waiting for it for many years. All you wanted was to end your life and move onto the next stage. This isn't so bad, now is it? You can still hear the dog barking.
"No," you say. "That's wrong." You know better. If the dog dies, then you die with him. It doesn't matter. He will be gone, and you will be consumed by the god that is inside him.
It's true! You can still hear the dog barking! He must be trying to tell you something. He knows that death is imminent, and he wants you to listen. He wants to warn you about the coming apocalypse. There is hope for you!
You can hear the dog barking as you begin to slip away into a light sleep, and you don't even have the energy to scream.
This is why I'm posting this letter here. It's the only place on earth where my message can find another person who may have the same thoughts, beliefs, or emotions. The voices are telling me that if I post this somewhere else, it would be a waste of time because no one else will ever see it. But what if they do? What if someone finds this before it's too late? My life is in your hands, so please read the rest of this letter. I'll keep it brief, and there won't be any fancy wording. It's not about the words; it's about what is being said.
I've finally understood, after years of questioning my own sanity, that S does exist. It's not a trick. I know that he does exist, and it's time for everyone to start admitting that he does.
You know the truth, and so do I.
It's been three days since I began writing this letter. I have spent hours trying to find someone to talk to about this, but there has been no one else around. I can't believe it! I thought for sure that someone would have noticed that the sky was changing colors. But the world is empty. It feels like the last day of school before Christmas break. Everyone is home, and the stores are shut down for the holidays, but no one is outside because they're all inside talking with their friends on Facebook, reading emails, or watching TV. It's so quiet here! The silence is deafening! It's as if the world has suddenly come to a halt. I've tried calling, but I can't call anyone because I don't have any batteries. So, here I am, at the end of the road. No one has noticed anything strange. No one knows what is happening. And now, I know what is happening. It's not just an eclipse; it's much more than that. There is no hope. We are all going to die.
I want you to tell my wife, my son, my sister, and everyone that I love them. Tell them I loved them every day that I could, and tell them to forgive me. This is the only time that I'll be able to express myself. You may not understand what I'm saying, but that doesn't matter. Just remember the truth. The world is ending. There is no more life for any of us.
This is the end. Goodbye, my love. I wish I could be with you now. But I cannot. I'm sorry.
This isn't what I wanted.
I have never felt so alone. Goodbye.