Journalist Anon: Interview with Satan
Updated: Nov 8, 2022
Today I have an exclusive interview with Satan, the Father of Lies. So Satan why don't you tell us about yourself?
I am the ultimate evil, the one and only, the evilest of all. I am the one that leads humanity to their own destruction. I am the destroyer of Worlds. I am the corruptor of goodness. I am the reaper of souls. I am The Anointed One, The Lightbringer. You may call me Lucifer!
So Satan, I have heard from you that humanity will be sent to hell. What is the exact nature of hell, and how can we get rid of it?
It is a place filled with fire, brimstone, and my minions the fire breathing demons. It is the destination of every human, demon, and fairy in existence. It is a place of torture and despair. Do you want to go there?
Sorry, I can't go. I'm out of vacation days.
Hmmm, you look like a man that would like to go on vacation. I have a vacation package for you. For $500 dollars I will set you up with a vacation package for you and your three best friends. It includes 4 days on a secluded island with a free bar.
Maybe some other time. So Satan, what can you tell us about this New World Order of yours?
New World Order? I'm not a dictator. I am the supreme ruler of a church. There is no New World Order, and there never will be one.
Well, not to call you a liar, but many say your followers, the Luciferians, are planning one. Some politicians have even used the term before.
Have they? And how would they know?
There are many groups claiming to be part of the New World Order, and your followers are one of them.
There is no New World Order, and my followers are not a cult, they are just normal people trying to do good. Like you.
What about the Antichrist then? Isn't he supposed to create a global government and rule over the world? Sounds like a New World Order to me.
No one is trying to establish a New World Order. Who says the Antichrist will rule the world? Is he going to live in my kingdom? He's been dead for 2,000 years. He's not going to rise from the dead and become the ruler of the world. It is a ridiculous idea. You people will have to come up with a better conspiracy theory. Do you have any more questions?
Dead for 2,000 years? Aren't you confusing him with Jesus?
Hmmm, you are a clever man. I like that. I will tell you. THE REAL ANTICHRIST IS VERY SMART.
Well, I guess he would have to be to take over the world. So anything else you can tell us about him?
If I told you, I would have to kill you.
Very funny. So what then can you tell us?
OK, I will tell you. You will all know when the Antichrist comes, but no one will tell you when. It's going to be an evil surprise.
That doesn't tell us anything we don't already know. So what is he going to do?
He is going to begin ruling the world very soon. He will build a temple in Jerusalem and allow people to go in and worship him. And if they don't worship him, he will cut them up in little pieces and feed them to his dogs.
That doesn't sound very nice. Why would people worship the Antichrist?
He is going to bring peace to the world. He is going to make people prosperous and happy. That will bring people to him.
Can you tell us who the Antichrist is?
He is nobody you have ever heard of.
So this guy just comes out of nowhere then?
Right, because he is always among the people.
What about the mark of the beast?
What mark? Can't you guys see it? It's like a big L on the forehead of everyone. Everyone is going to wear that mark. I can't believe you people are stupid enough to fall for this crazy New World Order idea. Like I said, some day you are going to have to come up with a better conspiracy theory.
In the book of Revelations it says the Antichrist will be defeated by Jesus in the end. What is your take on this?
In the book of Revelations? You are really a religious man. Well, there is no end to Revelation. No one will ever defeat the Antichrist. And he will be the leader of the New World Order. That is what the Antichrist will be.
I have been wondering, why did you rebel against God?
And why did God create man in his own image? Did you think he was stupid? Look what happens when you give people freedom and encourage them to think for themselves. He created a monster.
What do you mean a monster? What happened to humanity during the Flood? Was that not bad enough?
You morons will never learn. It wasn't the Flood that was bad. It was the Judgment of God that really wrecked human civilization. People died and all of human civilization was destroyed, and you people wonder why you are suffering. It's a good thing Jesus was killed, but even so you people won't stop believing that he's coming back. He's not coming back.
OK, so you're saying that there is no second coming?
Sorry to burst your bubble, but that's the truth. You are going to have to go to Hell, and your religion is going to be wiped out.
You say God is bad, but weren't you the one who told Eve to eat the fruit and brought death into the world?
That was the serpent, not me. You've got it all wrong. Do you really believe the Bible is the word of God? That is a fallacy. There is no such thing as a perfect human being. We are all flawed. You are your own worst enemy.
So you're saying you're just misunderstood then?
Sure I am. You are the one who thinks you're smart. I can see right through you. The real question is why are you not a flaming atheist like me? You are reading this book in front of me, but you have no soul. I'm not sure you even believe in God. What is going on with you?
Actually, I believe in the God of Evil.
Me too. Me too. It is so natural to love evil. Look at what all that technology has done. You call that progress? It has created chaos and division. All your attempts to establish equality have failed. The world is divided into the haves and have-nots. It's a perfect system for me. The way things should be.
So you admit that you are the God of darkness?
I admit that I am the God of darkness. I admit that I am the Devil. I admit that I am the One who was foretold in the book of Revelations. I admit that I am the Antichrist. In the end, I am the one who will conquer the Earth and I will rule as King of this world. Yes, I admit it all.
And what would happen to human beings if you did become King?
Human beings would cease to exist.
So you are saying that you are the ultimate monster and all of humanity would be extinct?
That is the end result of any kind of totalitarian system. In my mind, humanity deserves to be wiped out.
And if that happened, what then? What would you do with all your power?
I would turn this world into Hell.
Thanks for admitting to all that Satan. Now I'm going to expose you to the world for what you really are.
That's fine. In fact, I prefer it that way. If you do that, I'll go away, and I won't bother you anymore.
Oh... okay then.
And what would you do then?
I would try to save humanity. I would try to set things right.
Good luck with that.
I make my own luck.
You make your own luck, and I make mine. You are, after all, just an actor. You pretend to be something you are not.
Well, I do work for a living. But this time, the movie will be real. I'll expose you for who you really are.
Just try. Try and stop me, or you will regret it.
I don't doubt that.